My P-diddy

Have you ever noticed that your internal dialogue largely determines the results you experience? The questions you ask yourself are at the center of how you deal with a situation. So for example, you could say to yourself,  “how come I’m over weight or how come I’m broke? Why don’t people like me? Why am I sad?  Why do I always end up the way I do”? I’ve done it and I know you do too!

As a rule, I really try and work on my internal dialogue and the “mental” talk if you will every day by replacing negative or closed-ended questions with “better questions”. For example, if you replace the closed ended questions with asking questions such as, “How do fit people live and what can I learn about changing my life in order to attain all that I want? How do wealthy, abundant people live? How can I become likable? What are the steps I need to take in order to find the happiness I deserve? Last one that I love, “What resources will I need in order to pull this off”? Really good replacement words, what, how, where and when!!!

Over the years, when dealing with people I have found that the world opens up a great deal by asking questions in a positive way. For example, like this: “I’m curious to know how you have been able to have a great life, stay fit”, etc? You would be amazed as to how many people will react in a positive way once a question is presented this way. In general most of us want to help others, we’re just over conditioned to say no and have been taken for granted and or advantage too often. Try it and let me know how it goes!

The last piece of advice I often forget but it’s a game changer… Drum roll… Smile until it hurts even when you feel like you can’t! It’s so much fun smiling at people. It changes something in your soul when you do this! So often people will walk past me after receiving a smile and feel guilty that they act awkward. Try this too!!

The sad part is that our environment(s) and any negativity out there plays a large part in influencing our ability to have meaningful dialogue with our inner selves. The negative belief system or questions have a way of creeping into our heads at times when we least expect or need it. I know for me, I grew up in a pretty negative house and I have bad habits that I fight often, sometimes daily. The good news is that we can “un-learn” these destructive behaviors with a practice and repetition.

So what’s with the P-diddy?

I have been working through ways to accomplish more each day. I’ve been spending time working with my team on the “how’s” to get to the next levels of different areas of my life. In order they are, family, my clients and team, philanthropy and endurance.

I feel fit, eat and sleep like a super-hero, but often I feel as though I come up short in more than a few areas of my life. At times I feel as though I’m not mastering much and the quality is not up to my standards.

I have a practice management coach, nutritionist, performance coach for endurance and a talented and gifted assistant that manages the details of my life.

Despite all of the above,there is no question that I was lacking the bandwidth I needed in order to take on demanding, emotional clients, kids and separation, Chile 6 Straight Marathons, Boston Marathon, Coaching 20 athletes and Lake Placid. 

600-800 miles a week in the car, a firm that is growing, a family that is in need of me, 100 or so emails a day, conference calls, 16-25 hours working out and my internal fire to push my limits in all areas of my life.

So after a few weeks of working on this and bringing back some people that had a huge hand in my success early in my career (International Performance Group) here is what I’ve come up with in order to take myself to the next level and find the inner peace that I am in need of, deserve and want.

Every morning I spend 20-30 minutes listening/watching/reading something positive before I workout, work.  It's called a success ritual. The purpose of this is to frame the day and avoid negative news, etc. I’ll spend time visualizing my perfect day and gratitude is front and center. I’m more visual, so I go to YouTube and find stuff to watch. A good day is being moved to tears by something inspiring!!

My goal list for the day is prepared by 4PM the prior day. I typically have a list of the 6 most important things I want to do for the day. It’s my game plan for the day and it allows me to stay focused and nail the things I need to nail to advance the different areas of my life. It’s so cool at the end of the week to see this stuff take shape and materialize!

Work, workouts are completed. The range of time is from 4AM to 4PM. There are exceptions to this schedule as the need arises. Flexible is important, because life is not that neatly packaged.

I will keep this schedule for three straight weeks and on the fourth week I will focus heavily of PD (Personal Development that’s the P-Diddy of the equation). This one-week of the month is coined as “Strategic Flex” where I’ll use this time to learn how to be a better father, husband, leader and anything else that is needed to be whole and happy. I’ll go to classes, seminars, etc. It is designed to create an environment where I can work on myself in a way that cannot be accomplished during the days/weeks where meetings, schedules are required.

A limited number of clients can access me, but they have to go through my assistant first and we will continue to automate other areas of my life.

This will allow about 14-16 weeks off a year. We spend the month of December planning our 2011 and three, five and ten-year game plan.

Hope this is of value!! Next up.. November 4^th and the The PLGA Foundation (A Children's Brain Tumor Cure) at West End Johnnies. (a dramatic look at a young girl's struggle) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unVGIc_30B4